When Christmas Doesn’t Feel Merry.

Did you know, it’s okay to not be okay at Christmas?

For many, Christmas is painted as the most wonderful time of the year: a season of magic, togetherness, and festive cheer. But for others, this time can feel anything but magical. And you know what? That’s okay. Not everyone feels the sparkle of Christmas, and there’s no rulebook that says you have to.

The reality is that the festive period can bring up a lot of emotions. It’s a time when grief, loneliness, financial pressures, or even just the stress of living up to expectations can feel amplified. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The world might seem full of twinkling lights and joyful celebrations, but behind many closed doors are people who are simply trying to make it through.

Why Christmas Isn’t Always Festive for Everyone

For some, Christmas serves as a reminder of loss. Whether it’s a loved one who’s no longer here or a relationship that’s changed, the holidays can highlight absences in a painfully sharp way.

Others may struggle with the pressures to create a “perfect” Christmas. Social media can make it seem like everyone else has a beautifully decorated tree, an overflowing table of food, and a house full of laughter. But comparing your reality to someone else’s highlight reel is never helpful and it's good to remind yourself that everyone’s circumstances are different - it’s okay if your Christmas doesn’t look like a movie scene, I can almost guarantee this is the case for most of us.

Then there’s the isolation some feel at this time of year. Maybe you’re physically alone, or perhaps you’re surrounded by people but still feel lonely. Christmas can highlight those feelings, but it doesn’t have to define your experience.

It’s also important to remember that you can be surrounded by people and still find this time of year challenging. Being with family or friends doesn’t always guarantee connection or joy. Sometimes, the weight of expectations, unresolved tensions, or even personal struggles can make it hard to fully engage, even in the midst of others. If this resonates with you, know that it’s okay to acknowledge those feelings too.

Small Ways to Make It Through

If Christmas feels heavy for you, give yourself permission to acknowledge those feelings. It’s okay to feel sad, stressed, or disconnected. Once you’ve done that, you can start thinking about small things that might help you cope:

1. Get Outside for a Walk: Nature has a way of grounding us, and walking can be incredibly therapeutic. Whether it’s a short stroll along your street, a ramble on a favourite trail, or a trek to the coast, being outdoors can really help clear your head. In Cornwall, we’re lucky to have so many beautiful places to explore and even if you’re not feeling particularly festive, a winter walk can bring a sense of calm and perspective.

2. Connect in Any Way You Can: If you’re feeling lonely, consider reaching out to someone. It might be a friend, a family member, or even a local community group. Many places organise Christmas events or meals for those on their own. If in-person contact feels overwhelming, even a text or a phone call can help.

3. Find a Little Routine: If Christmas Day feels empty, try creating your own routine. It could be as simple as making a nice breakfast, watching a favourite movie, or spending time on a hobby you enjoy. These little rituals can help give structure to the day.

4. Volunteer: Giving your time to help others can be incredibly fulfilling. Local food banks, shelters, or charities often need extra hands at this time of year. It’s a way to connect with people and make a real difference.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Above all, be kind to yourself. If you’re struggling, remind yourself that it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel what you feel without judgment.

6. Practice Self-Care: Give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Whether it’s a hot bath, a good book, or simply taking time to breathe, small acts of kindness towards yourself can be incredibly healing.

7. Create Your Own Traditions: If traditional Christmas activities don’t resonate with you, try something different. Watch your favourite movie, cook a meal you love, or spend the day doing a hobby that brings you joy.

Walking Through It Together

At Cornish Ramblings, we know the power of walking to heal the soul. If you’re able, step outside this Christmas. Feel the crunch of frost (if we have any!) underfoot, the chill of the winter breeze, and the soothing rhythm of your steps. A walk doesn’t have to be long or far to help shift your perspective.

If you’re looking for company, why not join a local walking group like Cornish Ramblings? Being part of a community can be a lifeline, especially at times when you’re feeling disconnected. Or, if you prefer solitude, use your walk as a chance to reflect and breathe.

Remember: It’s Okay

Christmas is just one day. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. If it feels hard, know that it’s okay to not be okay.

Let go of the pressure to make it magical and instead focus on what you need to get through it—whether that’s a quiet walk, a small act of kindness, or simply taking a deep breath and giving yourself grace.

You’re not alone in feeling this way, and you’re not alone in finding your way through.

What ideas do you have to make this Christmas a little easier?

Need Support?

If you’re finding it difficult, there are helplines and services that can help. In Cornwall, you can contact Cornwall Mind (01208 892855) for mental health support or Samaritans at 116 123 for a listening ear, 24/7. Nationally, the CALM Helpline (0800 58 58 58) is available for anyone feeling overwhelmed. Don’t hesitate to reach out—there are people who care and want to help.

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