A New Chapter

1 day ago
5 min read

I’ve gone back and forth on whether to share this publicly, not because I’m not proud of the journey, but because it has been so personal, so vulnerable, and so unlike anything I ever imagined I would go through. But I also know that the people who follow my life, my rambles, and my story have always shown me such kindness, and that honesty sometimes opens doors for connection and understanding.

I’ve always loved exploring new paths, pushing my limits, and celebrating the small victories along the way. Life, it turns out, had one of its biggest adventures waiting for me off the trails...

I’m pregnant!

This news has been a long time coming. My journey to motherhood has been full of unexpected twists, tough climbs, and moments that tested me more than any hike ever could.

Over the past year, I’ve been undergoing IVF treatment, which has been entirely self-funded and full of highs, lows, and everything in between. Every appointment, scan, and setback has been part of an emotional marathon I navigated largely on my own.

Alongside this, I’ve continued working full-time, often juggling appointments and responsibilities while trying to find balance in a world that can feel unpredictable. I’m incredibly grateful for the support of my family and friends, and my Cornish Ramblings community, and although this is something I have kept from each of you until now, just know that your kindness, your support, and your love of Cornish Ramblings has helped keep me moving forward.

The Journey So Far

IVF is not a straightforward path. It’s expensive, emotionally taxing, and full of uncertainty. To date, the costs have been around £20,000, covering treatments, scans, medications, and appointments. It’s a journey that doesn’t allow for conventional planning and you literally take it day by day, cycle by cycle, with hope as your constant companion. Along the way, I’ve faced loss, disappointment, and moments that tested my resilience. And yet, the dream of becoming a parent never left me.

I’m pregnant!

Even typing those words still feels surreal. After everything that has happened over the past year; the losses, the appointments, the injections, the waiting, the hoping, the heartbreak, the trying again - to finally be able to say this out loud feels like a miracle stitched together from sheer determination, science, and the kind of hope that refuses to give up.

The Road Here Was Not Straightforward

I’ve been going through IVF on my own and although I shared it with a small close knit group of people, IVF as a single person can be a very lonely venture. It has tested me in ways I wasn't sure I'd come back from, and there has been so much about IVF, my body, and science that I have had to learn along the way. Even now I am still learning and still asking questions. Although it has been a lonely experience at times, being able to sit here and share my news has made every tear, needle, scan, test, and pound coin worth it.

I didn’t meet the NHS criteria for funding - unfortunately, it is a postcode lottery and Cornwall does not provide IVF on the NHS for single gay women which meant that everything; every appointment in Plymouth, every scan, every prescription, every procedure, had to be privately funded. To date, this journey has cost me thousands and it wasn’t something I could plan or save for in the traditional sense. IVF doesn’t work that way. It happens in unpredictable bursts of urgency, fear, and necessity.

You don’t get the luxury of long-term financial planning when you’re told to come in tomorrow for a scan that might change everything. You simply do whatever you need to keep the possibility alive.

And through all of this, I continued working full-time, often driving back and forth to appointments alone.

The Emotional Side That’s Hard to Explain

I’ve experienced loss along the way and that grief is something I still carry. It never fully goes away and it is a type of grief you can never prepare for, or know how to navigate, and it took me months to even feel okay to try again. But it also strengthened my resolve and tested my resilience.

So much of IVF is invisible; you appear fine on the outside while privately navigating some of the hardest days of your life.

Every time I picked myself up and tried again, it was because the dream of becoming a mother never left me. Even now, at 16-weeks pregnant, I am cautiously hopeful. I’m allowing myself to feel joy where I can, and to take things gently when nerves creep in.

The Financial Reality

This pregnancy is a gift but it has arrived at a moment that is financially daunting. After funding IVF alone, I am now moving house so I can bring my baby into a safe, stable home. The move will more than double my rent and bills at the exact time my income will drop to statutory maternity pay which is only around £800 a month.

I fully appreciate that maternity is a life event that one is generally expected to prepare for, but IVF does not allow for that kind of preparation. You cannot foresee how long it will take, how much it will cost, or how many attempts will be required. It is not a linear or predictable journey, and for many - myself included - it involves taking on considerable financial burden long before you can even hope for a positive outcome. Preparing “properly” simply isn’t realistic when the goalposts constantly move.

Why I Created a GoFundMe

This part makes me nervous to talk about, because I never want anyone to feel obliged. But friends, family, and even some Cornish Ramblers since sharing the news on social media, have asked how they can help or support me, and that’s why I set up a GoFundMe.

It isn’t to fund my lifestyle or anything extravagant. It’s simply to help me bridge the gap created by:

the costs of IVF
the upcoming drop to statutory maternity pay
the unavoidable move to a safe home for my baby
preparing for life as a single parent

If anyone would like to read more, here is the link: My IVF Journey — A Dream Come True

But truly, there is no expectation. Your kindness, messages, and support already mean more than you know.

Looking Ahead

Despite the challenges, I feel incredibly lucky. I’m growing a little life I have fought so hard for, and I’m excited for the future in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I can’t wait to share this new chapter with all of you - through Cornish Ramblings, through friendships, through small moments that make life beautiful.

Cornish Ramblings will still be here and although I am growing a mini rambler, I hope to still continue my rambles throughout my pregnancy, and at some point during maternity, once I have found my rhythm, I will look to organise a few baby friendly rambles too which everyone is welcome on. Watch this space!